I will be a Light unto the world.

Friday, August 22, 2008

So glad i make it to the last day of the prayer meeting of these 2 weeks...was so tired and was telling Minghui i dun feel like going today...but today once again drag myself out of bed...force myself out of the house...but the amazing thing is once i reach church, i dun feel so tired...I prayed for a lot of things...prayed for strength in workplace...pray for favor with colleagues....pray for encouragement in workplace...pray for Gerald's salvation...pray for Gerald to be able to find a suitable job...pray that God will guide me in the coming months to come...to be able to handle church and personal life...be able to balance...pray for God's presence to return..pray for Holy Spirit to come back...God say ask in His name and we will receive..all these I asked in His name today...Today we sang the song you alone for worship...

YOU ARE THE PEACE
THAT GUARDS MY HEART
MY HELP IN TIMES OF NEEDS

YOU ARE THE HOPE
THAT LEADS ME ON
AND BRINGS ME TO MY KNEES

FOR THERE I FIND YOU WAITING
AND THERE I FIND RELEASE
SO WITH ALL MY HEART I'LL WORSHIP
AND UNTO YOU I SING

FOR YOU ALONE DESERVE ALL GLORY
FOR YOU ALONE DESERVE ALL PRAISE
FATHER WE WORSHIP AND ADORE YOU
FATHER WE LONG TO SEE YOUR FACE
FOR YOU ALONE DESERVE ALL GLORY
FOR YOU ALONE DESERVE ALL PRAISE
FATHER WE LOVE YOU
AND WE WORSHIP YOU THIS DAY

Yes...God is the peace that will guard my heart and He is my help in times of needs..He is the hope that wll lead me on...Yes God I long to see your face..though I still cannot sense His presence but I will hold on...will persevere...today's cab's fare is the lowest among this 4 days...i believe even if i took cab these few days...God will still bring finances to me..like ytd i met gwen and Eleanor for dinner...Gwen paid for my dinner...we ate at BK...she say somehting that really touched my heart...and i believe that plays a part that now i really decide to commit to come back..she told me she fast for 3 full days and she is fastingand praying for cell group and for me...i was very touched...i believe now that i am back...is not just myself making the decision...but its through the prayer and fasting of my friends...through Minghui who never gave up calling and asking me for cg and svc every week..last fri i could have gone down for the zone meeting but i did not cause i was too tired...minghui told me everytime i tell her i cannot go for cg or svc..she is not angry but upset...and i can really hear that through her voice...is cause of that conversation i decide to go for svc on sat...else i might have back out again...and cause i turn up for sat svc...then i realise i still love God so much just that i choose to deny my own feelings these 2 months...it was hard for me to come back...previously a connect Group Leader and now have to submit to another connect group leader...the pride i need to put down...and if i go back to usher ministry...the possibilty to start all over again...ya...to me..now position does not matter...i jus want to find back the 1st love..the 1st love i have for God that no matter how my dad stop me..i still find ways to go to church...the love i have for God that i went ahead for water baptism and even completing SOT...the love that carried me through all the difficult...

I still have the dream of being a connect group leader and even a cell group leader...but i know...given my situation now...i cannot be one...cause of being in an unequally-yoked relationship..what should i do? there are 3 choices..one is continue pray for his salvation but not just that...besides being getting saved..he must be a real disciple...second is I give up this relationship with him..third is I give up my dream of bring a cell group leader...God...please guide me throught this period of time...

today when i went into the office... i was the first one to reach...hee..then i begin to check my email...wow...just one haof day off..got so many emails to check...and one of them is a memo of appreciation from my manager...he also cc to the directors and to HR future for future appraisal reference...It was really a long email(3 long paragraghs and 3 shorts ones) which touched my heart...being appreciated by my manager...and it really was an encouragement to see that email early in the morning...thank God for for using me and letting me shine in the marketplace...this is one of the paragraph(I have realised that you have put in efforts too which are beyond your scope, in showing your helping hands to your surrounding colleagues, whenever they need you. This is especially for colleagues who are deficient in English language. Again, you appear to be an important role to them and I do trust that you are wholly appreciated by them. You are strong, optimistic and good morale booster.) I believe these attributes that i have..is being develop over the years in church :) I grew up in church...from a secondary sch student to a poly student and to one working in the society...

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