I will be a Light unto the world. <body>
Monday, September 22, 2008

Wow...recently all my friends ard me getting attached....happy for them...haha...congrats to Hope,my beloved Pammie,Michelle, Peixiong and Eunice...hmmm....of course got others who got attached earlier in the yr...congrats to everyone who have found their love :)

I believe recently everyone have been receiving this message...in case u din...please help inform others(the following items have been recalled due to china's milk situation. This is real. M&M's,snickers, mento's yoghurt bottle, dove choc, oreo wafer sticks, monmilk, dutchlady sterilised milk, wall's all natural mango, mini poppers ice cream, magnum ice cream, moo sandwich ice cream, mini cornetto n youcan ice cream. We've been asked by AVA to remove them from our stores. If you have any of these items in your house, dun eat them)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Why do i mind so much when other people commmend me? I have been taking lunch oders for my colleagues for the past 6 months, wed i was in a mteeting so i asked another colleague to take the lunch order...then during lunch i was saying next time can ask her to help..pass already...then my director say ya..she can...her handwriting nicer...then the son say ya..at least he wun leave out any order...at that point...i was very upset..ya..i miss out 1 order before...cause that colleague not from my office...i forgot to ask her...imagine no one comes to you everyday...you have to go ask where they wanna eat 1st...then ask them what they want...1 by 1...do they know how tired i am...everytime i ask where they wanna eat..they just reply see the others....everyone say the same thing...then i dun even know which venue...it takes up a lot stupid time to ask...maybe i should jus do this in future...email everyone where we going to eat and if they dun reply by 10.30..its their own business..every single day...for the past 7 months...i take order...after lunch i have to collect $$..they dun come automatically...no one bother to thank you for helping them...but yet when u miss out 1 order...everyone starts blaming you...dun appreciate i already think forget it...yet still blame u when there is a mistake...ya...if that colleague is so good...ask her to take order everyday then...see if she will forget one day...that was one i told my director...her reply was dun say others..say yourself can le...

everyday is like this...bout 10am i ask my director where she buying lunch today thenshe say ask the rest...i will ask the managers and they say see the others...then when i fially got the venue..i have to ask 12-13 staff what they wanna eat...then sometimes got additional from marketing side...then after that got to double check i din left out anyone...then pass the paper to my director...after lunch...go 1 by 1 to collect the $$...sometimes they give too big note...got to find small change...they give too much coins...got to try get rid of the coins...when i pass the money to the director..she will test me...ask me add up to the total sum...initially it was agreed that me and alinna spilt...she take order...i collect money...then she went back china for 1 month holiday so i did both and all the way from apr- sept...i do both...its not that i want to complain...but i jus felt its unfair...why is it like that..

EVERYONE JUST TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED...DO THINGS FOR THEM NOT A WORD OF THANKS OR ENCOURAGEMENT...A MISTAKE AND ALL PIN POINT YOU...whatever happen I blog yesterday and today bout work are the things i dun have strength..think i really need to take a rest...

Have been very upset...have been calling up the suppliers for sponsorship to our Company D&D Sponsorship...have tried my very very best...then got i call 30 over calls all rejected...got 1 company send their gift over today and my director say get all these things also no use..she wanted cash...then the HR manager say very good le got $1000+ cash le...then director jus say not enough...but have she thought of our feelings?we tried so hard..sometimes even get scolded by suppliers...colleagues say we kip helping management get money then lucky draw we not much chance...yet management say we tried hard enought...we tried our best in the end to face black faces from everyone...then what for we try so hard...i very tired...and my team..not everyone work well...feedback to the chairperson of D&D..Not much action taken...WHY....WHY...WHY...i feel like taking a break...take a leave n rest at home...but cause of my dad...i unable to do so..i take leave i got nowhere to rest...I AM VERY TIRED...Mentally & physically...

Monday, September 15, 2008

the feeling having to start all over again is so tiring...like last sat we have mid Autumn festival cg...i know they be discussing bout the activities or games and yet i was not involved...felt a bit lost...anyway...i made the decision to leave that time..and there are consequences for every decision and this is one of the consequence for that decision of leaving...i want to rise up again...to climb up again...to be a connect group leader or even a cgl...was feeling so xin ku and i jus cried during praise...it was really so hard to praise...and during worship, its a new song...when i heard those few sentences in red below,i sang it lifting everything up to God..

Depths of Your Love
By Christian Grindstaff

Before the earth, before all days You knew me.
Formed in Your image, made in Your likeness You love me,
The light of Your word,
The truth of Your promise guide me,
The power of Your mercy,
The love of Your grace deep inside,
Of me, It’s the depths of Your love,
Moving I the depths of me

I believe,
In the power of your name,
I believe,
In the promise of faith,
I believe,
In the love of a God
Jesus my savior,
I believe,
I believe

Speak to this mountain,
To move into the ocean,
Your authority given to me,
No matter what happens,
Here I am standing,
On the hope of Your word,
Promised to me

Sat Minghui preach that does not feel God's presence does not mean He is not there...and to let go of our past..think i starting to let go of some things which happen just some time ago and its hard, but no use clinging to it...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

received this email from Eleanor and decide to share with everyone...

This is a short extract from the book by Paul Baloche.
Yet worship is much more than 20 mins of singing at a church service.
What I try to model for my family and my church is that worship has more to do with relationship than it does with music. It is impossible to worship a living God sacrificing our bodies, emotions, minds and hearts and not have it affect all our relationships. I have little patience for ungratefulness. I remind my family daily how blessed and fortunate we are. Psalm 103:2 says it best:.

”Praise the LORD, O my soul and forget not all His benefits.”

Remembering God’s blessings is the key to a worshipping heart –
A heart that desire to live a life of worship through singing, serving, loving and obeying.

We can decide to do these things and let the overflow affect others.

Our example will remind those around us that there is a God worth knowing and that we were created for His pleasure and purposes.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Prov 1:7)

A dear sister, who was seeking the Lord, was very conscious of her inability to pray with words fitting of her Creator. And so she prayed, 'Lord, teach me to worship You acceptably.'Much to her joy, the Lord replied and said:–

When you accept whatever situation you are in without murmuring, you are worshipping Me.

When you can rejoice in Me in the midst of your infirmities, you are worshipping Me.

When I have brought pressures to bear upon you to bring out the gold of My nature and you bear them patiently – blaming not Me, nor another person, nor yourself, then you are truly worshipping Me.

When you can 'forgive yourself' for your weaknesses and failures and cease expecting your human nature to bring forth perfection, you are worshipping Me.

When you have come to the place of recognizing and acknowledging that 'of myself I can do nothing,' then you are worshipping Me.

When you look upon My creation and the beauty of it and magnify Me, then am I worshipped.

When you hear My word within you saying, 'This is the way – walk in it,' and you obey My Word with rejoicing, then I am worshipped.

When you look with compassion upon one who is afflicted, tossed, and broken, then am I worshipped.

When you recognise My Body and honor your brothers, this is true worship unto Me.

When your lips are silent because of your pain, and you lift your heart to Me, I feel your worship.

Ø When you say, 'I cannot – please help me!' then am I worshipped.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Had a very tiring weekend...sat after work went for cg...after cg we had mini Olympics...we are spilt into 3 groups...each group have 4 members...1st station is the vertical marathon...1st member station at level 1...2nd member station at level 3...3rd member station at level 7 and 4th member station for level 12...there are 14 levels altogether...the 1st member have to climb up the stairs to 3rd level then run with the member to 7th level and run together to meet the 4th member at level 12 then climb up at level 14 and all the way down again...so 1st member have to run 14 levels up...2nd member have to run 11 levels up...3rd member run 7 levels up...and 4th member run 2 levels up...

After the vertical marathon,we had dorgeball...oh...my group won the vertical marathon...we got 2nd for dorgeball...haha...then we have to run to the nearest cold storage and grab an ice-cream and finish it fast...by the end of this 3 games...we were too tired that we told minghui we all just split the price...too tired to continue our mini Olympics...haha....after that we play captain’s ball then we went minghui house to play some games then go for dinner...after dinner...I went to Hope’s place...applied counterpain...cause scared the next day legs will ache...watch television till 11 then we went sleep...before sleeping...we pray together...did a bit of sharing as well...thanks Hope for the encouragement...oh ya...she is attached...haha...her bf stay Holland Village but on sun...he will come pasir ris fetch her then go church together...haha...then that day I say wah..your bf so yong gong...she reply bu yong gond na li hui cheng gong...haha...so funny...but anyway sun I woke up with legs and body aching :(

Today body still aching :(

Saturday, September 06, 2008

wah...cannot believe it...i ned almost exactly 1 hr to fax 44 sponsorship letters out...mus make sure it have been sent...wah...email can finish within 20 mins...but fax takes longer...haha...yesterday yun rented a car...happen that yonghui unable to book out...she came to fetch me and went bukit batok to have suppper...it was a great time catching up...then she drove me home...so tired sia...hmmm..tonight going over to Hope's place for dinner and stay over...tml go svc nearer...think will have a good time catching up too...haha...friends who are always there but seldom meet up...but whenever you need some people to talk to..they are there...looking forward for our cg mini olympics later..

Thursday, September 04, 2008

yesterday night ot again....mon ot will 7...tue and wed ot till 8.30...really tired...yawnz...still haven finish the things...just checking my colleague's work for the D&D makes me tired...how can she have the email add but not contact person...means she dinmake an effort to find out...

Yesterday talk to sharon...in the midst of conversation...she told me something which i felt unfair to me...i cried out...just kept crying...colleague A wrote a note to Colleague B and Colleague B ask huh,why...what happen?Colleague A say cause of religion...my friend knew they talking bout me...this is their conversation...
A: ya lor...he very upset...think have been crying everyday...
B: really cause of religion ah...
A: ya...he say he put in so effort for these 6 months but end up he got nothing....
B: Nvm, its her lost...he is such a nice guy...
A: think I meeting him up tonight...
I dunno what exactly Gerald told this colleague...I did ask Gerald...he say he only told her that we over le...anyway...dunno la...you can say I easily affected by people...CAUSE ITS UNFAIR TO ME...its not as if I am very very happy after the break off...but YET I HAVE TO LISTEN TO ALL THESE NONSENSICAL THINGS...his relationship was between me n him...what rights have others to comment?Ya...all they know is he is a nice guy...I agree on that...so?He can give me happiness but I dun feel secure...no security which ladies need a lot...Hai...

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

so upset these few days...emotions so unstable...who says i am the one who break off with him i m not upset...who says i look happy i am not upset...i just dun wan my friends to worry...i m sad do i need to cry in front of my friends?i am sad do i need to tell the whole world i m sad or i cried everyday? just wanna vent my frustrations here...cannot take it anymore...just because he is more soft, someone who dun really know how to fight back..everyone pity him...so its my fault to break off with him...do they know who happy or unhappy i was when i was with him...and how unhappy he wqas to tolerate scoldings from me every now and then....i m tired...to me..he is just a weak person...not that he cannot cry...but no need to tell everyone he cried everyday right...so i am the bad person because i caused him to cry everyday...ya...go tell those friends who will go tell people in office that you cry everyday...go let them gossip and say you so pityful and stuff like that...i cried too...but i dun go telling everyone i cry everyday...unless i really cannot take it anymore...

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

I just feel like crying out loud...i feel so stressed at work...dun have the energy to do...even ot also not doing the d&d things...and i need to do d&d things...even ot also not enough...arrgh...today i nearly cry out at work...just could not take it...dun have time for everything...today already tuesday..manager gave me 9 tasks before going overseas...now i only finish 1...that one not even work done...is checking some things only...not that i cannot finish his work...but have been so busy with other stuff that i haven even touch on the things he gave me to do...just wanna find somewhere and scream out loud...

so upset today...was talking to some colleagues after lunch then talk bout gerald...then they say in the first place should not have started..say我害了他...even if that is the case...no need say in front of me bah...what do they know?just look one sided...not as if i played with his feelings...not as if he din have happy moments...its so unfair to me...sianz..they are jus my colleagues...who are they to commend...sianz

Monday, September 01, 2008

This few days have really been terrible...friday we had our coporate branding commitee meeting with our director, i was suppose to present the part on costing...seriously i was not prepared for it...i just saved the proposal this company have send to the thumb drive...after i present it...my director suddenly turn to me and say i did very well...very well done...was surprised...then at the end of the meeting...again in front of the 2 managers and a executive...he say i have done well and ask my manager to give me more chance to present...stress...haha....hmmm...then after the meeting...i went to my director's room to pass him some documents...and he told me i to continue to work hard...he say i can do it de and have performed well so far...hee...so happy...

friday suddenly my Angeline Jie ask me out for dinner..so out of the blue..when i needed someone to be there for me..she called..then i gave tuition after work...during tuition time...Sis hope message me to ask bout any updates..i was touched...cause i know somehow it is God...these 2 person seldom message me...normally when i have problem..i will find them..but on fri...both contact me suddenly...God sent people around you to comfort you...this sat be going over Hope's place to stay over and share what have happened then sun go church together... told Angeline about my break off with gerald...her reply was she have not even seen him...haha...hmm...she treat me to cafe cartel and drove me home...was so tired after all the crying that i did not even realise that i fell asleep in the car until approaching Choa Chu Kang...

Sat slept till 10plus...minghui called me at 9 plus...cause i told her on thursday that i will call her back on friday but she din receive my call...then i told her bout my director praising me and say maybe cause i decide to end the relationship and in one way put God first...so i was blessed...minghui say no...God did not punish me when i was in the relationship...he still continue to use me in the workplace...but like what is written in the bible...as you put God 1st in your life...all these things shall be added to you...and the praises from my director is one of the things God have added to me...reach minghui's place at 11.45..then prepare the spag and hotdog...me n huiru quite lost of how to make the sauce and spagetti...thank God minghui help us...else could not what would be refreshments that day..in the way that it will not be ready...thanks Minghui...cg was good...word given by the members really spoke into my life...bout being tired and finding back the 1st love of God...the cg message..1 of the point was faith...and minghui say that fear is the opposite of faith and dun let out failure stop us from moving on with God..this sentence really impacted me...after cg we went to Han's beside the national library for dinner ...that day i really know what is the meaning of unity is power...haha...cause i suppose to fill in bout 600+ lucky draw coupons for my director...finished 500 by fri..was thinking was giving up the 100+...then i was finding any member whose house nearby have Econ minimart...and this new friend stay near Econ...so i took the coupons out...then minghui volunteer to fill in details for me...and Eleanor,Hui Wen,Gwen and the new friend Han Sheng help to fill in the details and we finished the 100+ coupons within 10 mins..thanks N317 for help..it really speed up everything...love you guys...

Yesterday after svc...went bedok to have lunch, then we went to sembawang to look for Alfred cause he had a ligament operation...then we went city hall,..met jin lian and see wan for sakae dinner...yummy...love jap food...then i was telling them bout Minghui's persistence...hmmm....why i decide to come back one of the reason is cause of minghui..one day she told me that she was not angry when i last min dun turn up for service and cg...but she was upset....at that time...i knew she really cared...not just concern bout attendence...and when i told them what minghui say bout as i put God 1st..all these things shall be added to me...when talking to them...i realised actually i have a really really good cgl...one who really lay her life down for us...Minghui..thanks...no words can express the thanks and graditude i have towards this cgl...i love her...haha...thanks for being there always...

"You are the light of the world. let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14,16

God's beloved child
18th November 1985
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